Clare and I were talking today at Kat Man Do on Grand in St. Paul (eat there, its spicy and delicious!).
When a mother calls me to help with her birth, I occasionally get a premonition of how it will go. Not in detail, but enough. It might be a split second view or a strong feeling as if it were the moment after birth. My sister says its the Holy Spirit. My paternal Grandmother, I heard, was like this, too.
The point isn't that it happens, but rather, what is the purpose of it, what should I do?
What should I do when I get the feeling that the mother won't be having a home birth? Or won't have an easy birth, or maybe will have a cesarean. What do I do at a home visit when I walk through the house and "can't see" the birth there? Twice this absence of "seeing" or "feeling" the birth in the home was preceded by cesareans, and several times, by transfers. I hadn't been tracking it because I felt a sense that I should be more positive.
Is it important to only say yes when I "feel" the tinkle of fairy dust?
Shortly into that initial conversation I start connecting to the mother's dream and her heart and want to walk that walk beside her, very often. So does it matter where the birth is at?
Clare says its not about where the birth ends up, but its about walking with the mother.
What is the ethics of saying, I'm not sure that your birth will end up as you see it, but I'm willing to walk that walk with you... I couldn't see myself telling a sincere woman, well, you're not having a homebirth so are you sure you want to work with me and pay for a homebirth midwife?
Wouldn't she think I was nuts? Am I sure I really know each time? Isn't there a reason for Hope?